Happenstance. And how.

Occupancy for One: Post-Grad Life

Ah, the singular thrills and complications of post-grad continuity. AKA the single-person coffee maker era of my existence. And with the veritable deluge of articles accompanying this simultaneously perilous, liberating, and often unfamiliar/uncomfortable situation, the consensus still seems to be largely out. If you’re a single occupancy smoker, God help you.

For my own part, currently, I enjoy the solitude. I’m a dedicated introvert that revels in evenings spent nursing a cup of tea or a whiskey cocktail following the rougher days. Reading, building wish lists on Amazon, or, more often these days, indulging in my new found obsession with my DVR. But this time is still lonely, to be sure, even while I require less social time than, say, the average human.

However, unpleasant, this developmental period is necessary for all of us, I believe. We need this time to accidentally shrink all of our work tops (hey, maybe that’s just me), to call home to the parentals in a hot mess of tears and incoherency, and to learn how to just be okay with being alone. Or maybe you’re not alone. Maybe you still live with your college friends, or are currently kicking it with the parentals, or still have a roommate(s). Point being, this is a lonely time, even if you aren’t entirely “alone” in the absolute sense of the world right now.

I’ve completed the requisite and rigorous 22 year gauntlet of education. I no longer live on campus, with the aroma of stale coffee and fresh anxiety. Rather, I’ve sold my soul to corporate America, and I am greeted every morning with fresh coffee and the terrifying prospect of stagnation.

So for now there is patience, and there is experimentation. Or for me, feigned exercises in patience followed by experimentation. Now is the time to develop or further refine our true passions. Spend time doing what you love, even if you don’t get paid for it right now. Take aims to inspire yourself in some way every single day. I have an inspiration wall in my bedroom where I tack anything and everything: cards, pictures, quotes, postcards, magazine pages, paintings. My nightstand is heavy with the weight of my reading list, because I finally have time for recreational reading(!!). And I write. A little bit every day. I feel rusty, very out of practice – shouldn’t I be writing a case analysis? Isn’t there an excel document that needs my attention? But it’s nice too, taking small moments to get in tune with myself again, to listen.

And there are also benefits to joining corporate America, for now. This is the time to buy your friends lunch - because maybe you finally can. The time to develop new habits and lose some old ones. For myself, I am witnessing, with near equal parts disgust and satisfaction, my sick transformation from a night owl to a morning person. And I believe that my greatest lesson, thus far, is appreciation. For tiny, tiny things. Example 1: weekends. TGIF, am I right? Also, the occasional early morning venture to the Mecca of indulgence. A blessed union of two of my favorite substances – bread and sugar: a la, Krispy Kreme. And that tiny feeling of superiority from being a more productive person than you were at school, shared smugly with the other individuals who manage to drag themselves to the gym at 5 AM – a rare occurrence. I also love leisurely evening walks in my neighborhood, with 100 year old trees gnarling their way through the sidewalks to touch long fingers with their friends across the street.

I currently spend my days with the lazy eyes and lax habits of an indoor housecat at my “cube,” lusting for the sunshine outside. No joke, I’m watching myself slide into vitamin D deficiency. But this is a crucible to be endured, not altogether fulfilling, yet not wholly unpleasant, and I am aware that I am very fortunate and very lucky in a number of ways. I know that what I’m doing right now is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. But I tell myself that I will use this time wisely, appreciating the small things, while planning for the bigger things. I wish you happiness and luck in your own adventure.

Want some inspiration? Have some:

J.K. Rowling:

http://www.ted.com/talks/jk_rowling_the_fringe_benefits_of_failure.html

David Foster Wallace:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122178211966454607.html

Sarah Kay:

http://www.ted.com/talks/sarah_kay_if_i_should_have_a_daughter.html

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